It’s been far too long…

It seems like ages ago that I wrote of discharging my debt through sneaky methods. Oh, how things have changed.

The debt collectors stopped trying to contact me altogether after I sent the initial wave of legal jargon. No phone calls, mail; nothing whatsoever. It appears they each put my case away (probably for fear that I have a lawyer at hand ^_^)  I do believe that I have somewhat successfully protected myself from any judgments being laid against me as all but one of my not-so-tenacious pursuers even bothered to send the verification of debt required by the Fair Debt Collection Practices Act. The fact is, though, that I do not have the guns (real lawyers) to back up my methods.

As I grow older, the weight of this looming debt casts a very dark shadow on myself. I spend most of my time every day thinking of how I’ll ever pick myself up out of this mess. Indeed, now at the 8AM I’m writing this, I haven’t slept for almost 48 hours. I can’t go on like this.

This leads me to a thought I somehow brushed aside for so long. BANKRUPTCY. I hadn’t considered it seriously since about now since I really thought of it as a cheap way out. The thing is, though, I am so deeply disabled by this disgusting black pit that I see directly ahead of me that I can’t even bring myself to get a job. After all, even if I do, it would take me years to even begin to see my way out. I’m too young to feel this way.

Besides, even if I struggle for the years to pay it all off, it will take 7 years afterwards to get the marks off of my credit report. I could, instead, declare myself the bankrupt that I really truly actually am and suffer a single bad mark for 10 years. I could actually start building new credit. I could be on a lease somewhere instead of skulking around the apartment complexes in fear of seeing the landlord who doesn’t know I live there. I could work on purchasing a car so I don’t have to be physically stuck anymore. I could start building my life the way I WANT IT.

As sad as one might be that they have to declare bankruptcy, this realization that it’s okay has almost instantaneously lifted me out of this 3 year depression into which I’ve been falling deeper and deeper. I CAN be free! ^_^

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